It's been a week since I"ve been looking for work and it's been almost two weeks since I"ve been living with my second family. It has been a great time for me to consider the path of my life as well as spend time planning on the next phase in my transition.
As I do, there have been some developments in my life since then. For starters, I've managed to locate an old high school friend of mine whom I haven't seen in 7 years. She's married now with a pretty daughter (pics of her were on her profile) with another child on the way. Her and her husband are expecting a son, probably by Christmas, according to what she told me via myspace. She's newly married as well, since May of this year, and lives in Raleigh. From her photos, though, she looks drained and her eyes and her appearance seems to imply that she's been through an extreme lot; she used to be a very beautiful girl back in the day but now it looks as hardship and extreme cases have taken her spark. For a long time, I was worried about her; just knowing what I know about her from many years ago left me with great concern for her life. I"m just glad she's new settling down and has two children that will now require her time and dedication along with their father for the rest of her life. I do wish her the best and hope that all goes well for her.
Another development that's happened in my life is that I have been told about the progress of my older brother; apparently, he is back in a half-way house. I'm not sure about what trouble he's in now, but I was thinking of him having positive influences in his life. I thought about that today; I was thinking, "I wonder if my older brother has people that are doing the right thing and are making an impact on his life." I know my dad only deals with him but so much, but I wonder as a younger brother how I have not make it a sacred duty to really communicate with him more often. It's not that I haven't tried, though; eventime I call him it seems as though he's not there and he never calls back. So, it's hard to really keep in touch with him; plus, I don't ever get in touch with him but the other people or person he stays with. Even so, I'm thinking of finding more about his situation and am thinking of trying to be more of a positive influence on him as much as possible. I know he will only see me as little brother, but to be honest with you I have a hard time really believing that he is an older brother to me; in truth, he hasn't really had a relationship with me since I was younger. He played a big part in my life back then when we all lived together, but since he moved out and been on his own, I haven't been in much communication with him. I know when I did speak to him in the past, he was like "call me if you need anything and don't call mom and dad." Well, mom and dad have been more helpful and "there" more than he ever has. I've never really needed to talk to him, except only when I think about his place in eternity. I have concern for his soul; but on the other hand, I think this is about as far I can take it. I mean, unless I mention that I have an older brother, not many people realize that I do. He's my stepbrother, in all reality, just like my dad is my stepdad. I'm not as close to either as I am my little brother, sister, and my mom, but I'm more closer to my stepdad than I am my stepbrother. He's also had a problem drinking; he's an alcholic. He was also one who likes to hang out with the fellas and do nothing but "chill." He likes "chillin" alot...unfortunately, that has been much of his problem. Of course, I can't point fingers at him without pointing them at myself as well. Even so, though, I still hope he's okay and that eventually gets his act together soon.
I guess the other development is that I've been adjusting to my second family's home very well. I have had my share of chores, which is really interesting. I mean, these are real chores that really take time to do. Now, I'm no stranger to chores by any means, it just reminds me that of the family I came from. The chores we did in my family was mostly just taking out the trash, cleaning our room, and occasionally the dishes. The dishes weren't a big thing for my familly; we rarely had a huge load of dishes in the sink, as my dad made us wash them immediately after we were done, unless it was like dinner time or something and then he designated one person to wash them or my mom would do it when she got home from work. So, together, my chores in the home wouldn't be no more than about 10 15 minutes tops; I know when I go visit and stay with them sometimes that he does require us to clean the bathrooom which only takes about ten to fifteen minutes. So, nothing really big; and plus, my stepdad is a perfectionist and not nearly as much as a neat freak as my uncle (my uncle is much worse lol). Nevertheless, I actually enjoy doing the chores here. It feels great that I can carry my weight here and really be part of the family in every way. The only thing that would makes things better would be finding work; I'm working on that now of course.
Just got a call a moment ago from Elder M and he was wondering why Charlotte-Mecklenburg schools was calling him for as part of my reference. I orignally agreed that I would let the elders would work with me and that I would stay here, but I also told him that if I don't get any job offers here but would get one in Charlotte then I'd go there. It's about really finding work and not being without a job; I thought that would be a wise choice. Apparently...in some way, it doesn't seem to be that way and I'm the only one thinking like me. So....it's confusing to me. Nevertheless, I am still taking their advice and agreed to work with them. That hasn't changed. But...I'm getting desperate to leave here; not because of any reason other than the fact that I"m being impatient (I'll admit it) and I want to be in Hillsboro. I just feel like this is like a slow-down and things are not moving fast enough. I do want to give things time cause I know applying for jobs and hearing back from them do take time. Still, just how much longer am I suppose to wait? I can't be living here without really having so form of work; that was the agreement in staying here with my family and I'm afraid that if I don't find work in a reasonable amount of time, then I'll be accused of laying around and not doing anything trying to stay for free. That's the last thing I want to do. Still, though, I know that God is in control and that things will be fine; I just hate not being able to work for a while; it bits!!! So....I have more things to check up on next week, including what Helen has suggested to me otherwise regarding some positions in Kansas. I am also planning checking out some places next week in the local area, places that I know that may pay decently, just about what I made at the gym. I figured if I don't get something by the end of next week I can at least tie myself down to something that can help start paying off my debt while I wait for that better deal; I am not willing, however, to commit to anything all-the-way knowing that I have a commitment elsewhere, to God, about being in a certain place. That's just me ya'll. I"m the type of guy that after knowing where he wants to go, I'm about getting there and not bothering the little details. I'm about being up and going, rather than sitting here and waiting for my thumbs to numb up; granted, I should plan out things before I move and that's good; I''m not saying that; I just hate not being able to be in a place without having something to do work with; but then, if God has given me the word to go, why stay here and hope against hope when He wants me elsewhere? It's like I"m being kept here without any assurance of being able to take care of things....when I'm more than positive that things will be taken care of elsewhere. I really don't know; I guess it's because I do care too much about the elders at my church in some ways it would be better to heed their info than to go against it....but then again, it depends on what God says. So, far, though everyone seems to be on the same page and is the only reason I stay behind. Everybody I have talked have agreed that I should pay off my debts first and save up for a car and then move. No one person in my camp disagrees with that. So....I'd best do it. It's just hard when you're not working......I hate not being able to do so knowing that I should. But, hey, it shouldn't be too much longer, right? As soon as the bread comes back from shore, the sun will shine on the job I'm suppose to have and God will bless me in everyway for this transition. As for the Elders, I know they have my best interest at heart and they know my story; so, I know they're only looking to send me out when it's time...I guess for me, I don't want to be too long in all this; I don't want to be here a year from now doing the same thing. I want to take care of business right now so I can finally leave. Hopefully, the door will open soon and I"ll be able to go and start my life in Kansas. I just have to be patient...no matter what, though, I'm sure all will be fine and all will work out. I just hope a job comes next week than next month!
Hi, thank`s for the article that you wrote article! A lot of time I was trying to find some new material for me, and I guess I have it thanks to you. Thank`s once more. I will be waitingimpatiently for exciting articles that you write.
Posted by: dimanah_ru | 12/25/2008 at 05:45 PM
You are welcome. Glad you enjoy it. I have plenty more that I wrote after this one; I am working on one to write in the next week just before New Year. I hope you continue to enjoy my writing. God bless!!!
Posted by: Ninjaearth | 12/25/2008 at 08:06 PM